Thinking through my fingers

The ‘Dummy’ LOVE

Tough love

Tough love

Hello, I want to apologise first for having not posted for a long time which was not entirely my fault. I hope you understand and forgive me;thanks by the way.
Now,i’ve listened to songs, read books, heard from experienced persons and even experienced for myself this phenomenon called love. I decided to make a post on it not because I know better but because I believe we can never stop learning and this learning forms knowledge which goes on to help us become better people. Besides,this is a developmental blog and we make it our business to inform because a civilized society they say is a well-informed public. With that in mind,please don’t expect a definition for love from me because as I said ab initio,I wouldn’t know better.

We have been taught the three kinds of love; Agape, Eros and Filial love. There is also the parent kind of love where the father protects,provides and instructs while a mother
nurtures. But we want to dwell on the filial kind of love which is the love between spouses and this we are going to treat in a pragmatic manner. Love is needed in relationships for there to be synergism. This is because relationships are bridges and they are paramount in developing one’s life.

The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love. This unfortunately is not the case as heartbreak and other innuendos are on the high. Dr Dorothy Tennov explained what could be wrong with her in-love phenomenon where she asserts “Average lifespan of a romantic obsession is two years . If it’s a secretive love affair,it may last little longer. Eventually,however, we all descend from the clouds and plant our feet on earth again. Our eyes are opened and we see the warts of the other person.
But to have a wonderful relationship and make the existence of love plausible, Dr. Gary Chapman insists that the five love languages must be spoken and understood by both partners. These five languages are:
• Words of affirmation
• Quality time
• Receiving Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Physical touch
(if you want to know more about the five love languages,get the book by Dr Gary Chapman).
When we receive affirming words (compliments),we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate and do something our spouse desires. It is also true that written words work wonders in a relationship because it has the benefit of being read over and over again.


William James said that possibly the deepest human need is to feel appreciated. When this need is met without any personal aggrandizement or aspiration of grandeur (if it’s possible),then the phenomenon LOVE is made tangible. Even when everything is going smoothly,we should have it at the back of our minds that there’s a new devil for every level and so,when it gets rough,we should endeavour to stay and weather the storm.
I believe time reveals,so give that love time (My two scents worth).

By a brillant mind,read gratuituously!!



  1. this is wonderful


  2. Charlesrich

    This is quite inspiring, actually, I was worried for not hearing from you all long.


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